Ehhhh.. Hahaha 100% money cant just buy my happiness hmm it will adopt am till ehm grow up... Lolz...

Laugh joor

#LOGIC

Laugh till you forget your password read up!!

(1) In africa when you dodge you mother's slap hmm, you must explain to the family members how you join cultism and why you're trying to kill her

Chaii..

(2) The way am broke Now ehhh... If my girlfriend leave me for rich man. We are going together

LOL

(3) I once try to act like white people, and take just once loof of bread with tea.

i have been fainting since morning..

(4) The way gari help me in this life ehhh.. Am considering naming my male child Garisson and my daughter Gariter

(5) Dont get scared or feel awkward when you mess while urinating.

Omo there is no rain without thunder


(6) I saw one keke today wrote "dont trust woman" in the upper side of the keke

i have a feeling that, that keke man once own a range rover

(7) Apart from smoker's the other pple that are liable to die are those that never mind their own bussiness

(8) Dating a holy holy gal is sweat oo, i cheated, she finds out, we gather pray and blame the devil

(9) Pls yocliqers can drinking to much pepsi course pregnancy?

cuz thats what favour is explaining to her parent

(10) A man enter his house fully drunk in the evening, but to avoid trouble with his wife he quickly take his labtop and pretend that he is busy typing...

he wife get closer to him and whisperd

"you're drunk again abi?"

HIM: Me? Drunk? You've started again oo

HER: Then why are u typing on your brief case...?

Hahahahaha...

if this jokes make u smile pls like, comment the one's out of the ten and follow for more funny stories

AM Still: @UniqueGee

Laugh till you choked, read up!!

INTERVEIW WITH SATAN

Interviewer: tell us what exerctly happened?

satan: i swear am innocent, i was just walking around chilling and flexing then eve came to me and ask

"ANYTHING FOR THE GALS"

hahahaha...

(2) USA Means united state of america

but how the heck USB Is not united state of burkina faso? Lolz

(3)that awkward moment when you always meet your crush wearing xame cloth.. it can even make u approach Her say

"bae i can explain"

(4) hmm i know all of una may think say am smart right?

i once try to call sim 1 with sim 2

(5) person go suffer suffer suffer hustle till hunger kill am, hmm and come to his funneral and see how they dey share food..

fried rice, big big chickens, 5 alive.

if nigeria get balance make i bend

(6) because your mum counted the meat in the pot, now you use your teeth and slim fit the meat

Mr tailor well done

(7) okay enough is enough!! Am tired of hidding it

i was the one that put water inside coconut

(8) ahh favour!! I no come, you no come, belle come,

HOW COMES?

(9) HER: Am leaving you cuz you focus too much on football..

ME: uhmmm are you leaving on LOAN OR FULL TRANSFER?

(10) Principal: are u the new english teacher??

Teacher: yes i are

principal fainted!!

#$T0R¥^_T!M£°

A Man was sitting on his couch in his house thinking about life, then boom!! Death came to him and said

"oga i think its about time, cuz your name is first on the list today so am going with you okay?"

the man: what? But i wasnt ready yet, i havent got childrens, i havent even got married and am still broke, i have alot of wishes i havent fufill

Death: am sorry but when the time comes, they is no waiting. Am going with you today their is nothing that can change that am sorry.

The man: okay before we go. Gimme a minute lemme prepare something for you, cuz its a long way from the above huh?

Death: i see, okay no p, but be fast

The man when to the kitchen and prepare a delicious food with drinks at the best as he could and put a sleeping pills in it.

with a smirk on his face be bring the food to death, and death washes his hand and chop the food like no tomorrow, he drink wella.

"I Think you're right its a long way from above" said the death

then he went asleep snurring loud, the man use that little advantage and took the list from his pocket and delete his name from top of the list and put it at the last

after a couples of minutes the death wakes up, he was happy about how the youngman treat him, with a smile he said

Death: wow am so happy about how you serve me and treated me like your guest and because of what u did, since you name is at the top, am gonna start my killing from the bottom

chaii the man fainted!!

hahahahaha i can see u smilling pls like,comment and follow for more funny stories

#ST0R¥°_T!M£^

(1)hmm my roommate stole my gf`s number from my phone, that idiot is busy sending love messege to his sister

(2)hmm my landlord is busy calling me a thief just becuz i sanitize his chickens and quarantine them in my fridge

(3)you will never see african parent kissing or hugging inform of romance but boom! 12 childrens baba emeka how comes??

(4)if she cheats on you pls dont beat her just give her fake money to market they will beat her 4 u lolz

(5)david carry 3k enter boutique go test the trouser of 26k, now zip don spoil, as we speak na the shop wey he dey mop since morning

(6)have u noticed that after u finished scratchting ur itchy anus the devil will always whisper "now smell ur finger my child"

(7)bae i swear i love you, even if they ask me to choose between you and trip to america, i promise i will be thinking of you. in the plane

8, i remember when i was a kid i was dumb,i thought judges use to wear indomie in their head, but now that i grow up old i finally understand na spaghetti

#$T0R¥_T!M£^

A proffessor studying psychology went to a psychatric hospital for the first time.

His mission was to know how mad people get well and study their behaviour whether the medicine that the psychatrist are giving them are working or not so they may need change

as he enter the hospital he have a couple of words with the psychatrist and he insisted that he wants to know how do they know if a mad man gets well?.

they toke him to the room him where all mad ppl are and they bring a big board with a car drawing on it.

after the mad people saw it they started rushing to enter the car drawed.

the proff was shocked after he see one mad man aside smilling at those one rushing to enter the car.

the proff. Smile and said wow we got a healed one there i think the medicine is working but lets ask him first to confirm

"Hey why didnt u go and enter that car?"

the madman smile and said "let them go and be rushing and pushing each other they are not going anyhwere cuz i got the CAR KEY

the proff fainted.

JU$T F0R FUN

*ESTHER was black and broke hmm but when ESTHER Get money

ESTHERBLISCHED

*ELIZA Is not a gambler but when ELIZA see odds hmmm

ELIZA_BET_H (BET)

*CARO was black ehhh.. but when CARO see lotion hmm

CAROWHITE

*FAVOUR Wasnt writting in the class cuz she not get pen.. So painfull. But when FAVOUR stole pen Hmmm..

FAVOURITE (WRITE)

*HOW TO ASK GENDER IN PIDGIN?

"Hey You Be boy? ABIGIRL??"

LOL I can see you smilling, pls like, comment and follow for more funny stories

AM Still:@UniqueGee

"Chuckles" whoa!! Hahahaha childhood memories, three years back on ss1, could nt help it but laugh.. I can't believe I missed all my sec school gee mate's, though we were five comared troublemaker's me, justice,aboubakar, success and Joseph..

And unforgettable memories, sigh.. University life is loading...

New life loading...

New friends loading..

New trouble finding loading..

No uniform life loading..

Serious relationship loading..

Hmmm its tearful we were not going to meet again, due to we were not studying xame course..

Justice wants to study micro biology

Success wants to study MBBS

Aboubakar wants to study nursing

Joseph wants to study computer science

And I wants to study (EEE) electric/electronic engineering.. though wasn't what i want.. kinda change of mind..

Stay tune University pics are loading... "Smirks"

#$T0R¥°_T!M£^

A Ceo of a company was worried about his bussiness,a guy have always been threatening him of banding his company of illigacy

The man was furious and always have a sleepless,many rumour came in that ceo is a weed dealer so his company have to be barned for good

many deals and price has been placed for the agent to spear his company, but the agent wasnt willing to accept any bribery of any price

The Ceo gets anxious, and orderd a sharp shooting sniper to take the agent down when he was away.

The sniper get into possition, he called the ceo on his headphone "Sir am in possition ready to shot"

the ceo said "make sure u dont mess this up, give him a one headshot to dead, and if u mess it up, u mess with ur life"

"dont worry sir am a trained pro, but wait they are two target who should i shot?

"okay the one wearing the black suit..h"

without any hasitation the sniperman give him a headshot

the Man continenue" he's my son dont let anything happen to him, now shot the one wearing blue suit"

Read up and laugh out loud

(1) i cant stop laughing after my friend uses his last MB Download Iron man3 marvel studio.. Only to come and see a man named marvel ironing his cloth for 30min in a studio.

(2)yesterday i offend my mum, she starts beating me, then i pretend am dead, ehh she starts crying and regreting why she beat me, omo then she finds out am pretending. Chaii then she continue beating me.. 9ja mum no balance

(3)Hmm person died, you come dey gather cry, person wakes u gon dey run, my village ppl whats ur mission??

(4)if a man smoke is called smoKing. And if a woman smoke is called smoQueen. They will not teach u this at sch Lol

(5)pls guys stop dragging weed if u knew u cant handle it, now my frnd is busy explaining to his parent how he grew up an orphan. imagine

(6)i never know say high dey hight till when i use 3hrs 36min 5sec looking for my phone under bed using my phone torch i was lookin 4

(7)Maths be like A plane treveling north and wind blow am to west calculate the age of the pilot

#$T0R¥°_T!M£^

A Man was furious about his daughter not getting married at her age, so one day he asked her to go and bring the person she wants to get married with..

Her father doesnt like blah blah mens, so he always rejects them after they got interviewed, saying they were not good enough for his daughter

One day his daughter brought a guy, saying she want to get married with him.

After a couples of unneccesarry questions, the guy starts to get bored and light his cigarette

The father was shocked

The father: HA!! You're smoking in my house? Monika and you want to get married to this

The guy: oh sorry dad i just feel somehow if i drink alcohol without smoking

The father: yehh!! You drink alcohol since when?

The guy: when i came out from prison

The father: You've been in jail Heh! What the hell did you do?

The guy: i killed someone

The father: You murderd someone. Are u mad? What did he did 2 u?

The guy: he refused to gimme his daughter.

The father: Mr man

The guy: Sir?

"You have my blessings"

Hello guys something tragic happens to me, i was in pains since yesterday,

Please continue reading it, it serious

I usually lost my taste, and sometimes feels dizzy, i vomit yesterday too, my eyes were barely opened my heart beats fast, am weak i couldnt move my body,

I was taking to hospital them booom! The news just makeS me go in tears cuz its unbelievable, i started to feel dizzy, still In pains and i was put on a vantilator and drip in my vien, just then the doctor came in crying,

i was scared of what's happening to me, it really shocked buth me and my parent plus the nurses close to me, then they went backward getting away from me.. I cried to my soul hmmm its so sad when the doctor said am pregnant...!!





And am going to give birth to a month called april 1st


hahahahahah.. LOL April fool, to every yocliqer that read this.. Must have smile. And oooh i forgot thanks for caring.. Like and comment pls


MONTH OF THE FOOLS

$T0R¥°_T!M£^

Two couples were arguing pointing at each other and shouting

The wife: Are you mad? Mr man if u insult me again eeh i go show you pepper. You will see my true colour..

The husband: Who are talking to like this? Am i your mate? This my house dont dare judge

For like an hours the quarelling and aguiment contineus..

The husband gets angry and said

"Look woman i will be with a woman like you so gather all your dirty cloths and..."

Suddenly his wife phone rang So he decided to cut his words for her to pick the call before he chased her away from his house"

After she picks a young male voice was heard saying

"Hey jane its james your brother, its about the money that dad left for us before he dies, so since u are married we decided to give you 5 million, three for your husband and two for you and sending it now bye"

she hanged up the call and said

"okay mr man u are saying?"

He sigh. And said "Honey dont get me wrong, i was about to say gather ur dirty cloths and give me lemme wash them 4 u

#$T0R¥°_T!M£^

Akpos and ochuko were drinking palm wine together..

Ochuku said

"Akpos i have a confession to make.. Last week, i slept with your wife am sorry"

Akpos shouted "you slept with my wife?!!

Ochuko: please forgive me

Akpos: what are friend for. i forgive you

The following week ochuko was furious someone harvested all his crops in his farmland.. During their drinking time Akpos confessed that he was the one.
After getting angry
Ochuko said

"Anyway what are friends for? I forgive you"

Two weeks later they were drinking palm wine together then ochuko said

"Akpos i have a confession to make.. I poinsoned your drink bcuz i was angry pls forgive me"

Akpos: whaat!! You poisoned my drink? Are u mad?

"Anyways what are friends for.. I also have a confession to make."

Ochuko said what is it?

Akpos "SMIRKS" And said

"Am sorry i exchanged our drinks please forgive me"

Ochuko fainted!!

hahaha.. I can see u smilling pls like,comment and follow for more funny stories

AM Still: @UniqueGee

Suggestions!! Suggestions!! Suggestions!!

Hello #Everyone and good day to my lovely moderator.. And admin sir @Tynash

This is just a suggestion if it can be done.. Then it will make yocliq very interesting.. I wasnt tryna say it wasnt but if its added then it will be more suitable for users all over the world

1: Voice chat: its gonna be splindid if its added to yocliq chatting experience both for android and java devices...

2:Multiple photo post: as you can see, you cant make a multiple post at xame time.. It has to be added pls to post like 5 pics at xame post which will shows {5+} i know u understand

3: Group chat: i know its coming soon but its just a reminder.

4:Blocking: ppl are busy complening that if u block someone, u will end up blocking ur self

5:Active friends list/friend request: have to be added

6:Smiley/Emogies: on messaging someone u have to express ur feeling with smilies and emogy in the messeges but u cant pls but it for but android and java, i mean in the middle of texting Tnks

#$T0R¥°_T!M£

A Man went to drink beer in a bar.. Then he shouted..

"Bar man give me a bottle of beer and give everyone a bottle of beer here cuz when am driking everyone should drink.

Everyone cheered "BIG BUYER... BIG BUYER.."

Later after a while he shouted again..

"Bar man!! Give me a plate of chicken and chips then give everyone a plate of sausage and chips cuz when am eating everyone must be eating.."

Everyone cheered "Dangote munchende"
they whistled, dance and collect their plates..

After he finish eating he shouted again

"Bar man!!! Give me my bills and give everyone in here there bills cuz when am paying everyone should be paying.."

Everyone including the bar man fainted!!!

hahahaha.. I can see u smilling like, comment and follow for more funny stories

AM Still: @UniqueGee

#ST0R¥°_T!M£^

I met a girl on monday at motor park, after a tittle conversation with her. I wanted to leave and desire to collect her phone number.

After she gave me the number i said to her

ME: Hey babe i didnt catch your name

HER: Okay am dike sandra thelma vera but feel free to call me (DSTV) in short form and you?

ME:(i no fit carry last) Well, am Godwin obinna tochukuwu vicor.. you can call me (GOTV)

And i have friend like..

Felicia ukamaka eloka linda (FUEL)

Christian babatunde noah (CBN)

Adewale ibrahim tejuoso (AIT)

David victor daniel (DVD)
Nice to meet you..

HER: Shift lemme fainted!!

#$T0R¥°_T!M£^

HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY KILL AN ANT

Mix powdered pepper and sugar & keep it outside the ant's hole for it to eat

After eating it, the ant will search for some water near a water tank... So wait when its near the water tank push it into the tank

But dont allow it to get drowned

Now the ant is wet.. He will go and dry himself near a fireplace

When it reaches the fireplace put a bomb into the fire...

[BOOOOM!]

The ant is now injured with 3rd degree burns

Rush the wounded ant to the hospital I.C.U

There the ant will be put on the ventilator and feel safe in the hospital

However at night sneak into the ants room and remove the oxygen mask from its mouth..

The ant will gasp for breath and finnally die

DONE & DUSTED

NO FBI WILL FIND OUT...

I can see u smilling like, comment and follow for more funny stories..

AM Still: @UniqueGee

#$T0R¥°_T!M£^

Mouthology...

A Proffessor was travelling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor.

"Do you know.. Biology, ecology, zoology, geography, physiology?"

The sailor said no to all his question.

Preffessor: What the hell do you know on earth, you will die of illiteracy.

After a while the boat got hit by something and started to sink down.

The sailor asked the proffessor.

"Do you know swiminology and escapology from sharkology?"

The proffessor said "NO"

Sailor: Well, sharkology & crocodiology will eat your assology, headology & you will dieology because of your mouthology..

I can see you smilling please like, comment and follow for more funny stories...

AM Still: @UniqueGee